


Vanilla

by Razra_Eizel (Eleana_Lee)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Auror Partners, HP: EWE, M/M, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-05-03 21:21:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5307257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eleana_Lee/pseuds/Razra_Eizel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Draco, Auror partners, were sent to a sex shop to investigate whether there are illegal activities going on in there. Harry is mortified, and Draco is enjoying himself too much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Vanilla

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sae/gifts).



> I actually had fun writing this, lol. I haven’t written anything above PG-13 in a long, long time, since I have given up on writing smut completely. Hopefully the recipient will like it. I have written something titled Vanilla before, but for another fandom, and that one is much more serious than this. But it felt like a fitting title for this fic, so yeah.

“Come again? I think I heard you wrong,” Harry said as he stared at Kingsley. “I could swear I heard you say—“

“Sex shop, yes,” Kingsley repeated, looking unimpressed. “We got a tip off from an anonymous informant, saying that this sex toys shop could probably be a front for an illegal potion business. So, since your partner is good at potions, I thought of sending you two there.”

Harry spluttered. “But—but—“

“Oh, come on. Everyone knows you’re banging him too,” Kingsley said easily, and Harry nearly choked on his own spit. “So it’s less embarrassing for you two to go together, right? Think of it as an excursion. You could even look around and see if anything catches your interest.”

Harry’s face was so red that Kingsley thought he might spontaneously combust.

“Harry? Pssh, yeah, right. He’s the most vanilla person to ever vanilla,” Draco said with a roll of his eyes. “I, on the other hand, might enjoy it. At least I will have something to keep me company when he goes on solo missions.”

“And what does he do when you go on solo missions?” Kingsley asked.

“He does nothing. He’s a prude, I told you already.”

Harry wondered if he had suddenly transported into an alternate dimension; one in which his partner talked freely about their sex life with their boss.

“Well, here’s the name of the shop and the coordinates,” Kingsley said, handing over a piece of paper to Draco. “Go once you’ve prepared. First time you go, it’ll only be a recon mission.”

“Of course,” Draco said. “I think I’ll have to get him used to it first. Otherwise he will flounder all the way and we won’t be able to catch any criminals.”

“Of course,” Kingsley agreed. “Do whatever you think is necessary.”

Draco dragged Harry out of Kingsley’s office and to the Apparition point, so they could go home and get changed to go to the shop.

“You’re enjoying this way too much,” Harry accused.

“A mission that lets me shamelessly browse through sex toys for myself and make you highly uncomfortable all in one go? Of course I’m enjoying myself.”

Harry sighed. This was going to be a long one.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

The entrance to the store was inconspicuous, and the lighting inside was dim. There were shelves lining up the walls, and the toys were lined up neatly, some hanging from pegs on the walls. They were all display items, and the actual ones were kept in the backroom, only to be taken out when the customers purchased them for hygiene purposes.

“Look at all these,” Draco said with a grin, nearly rubbing his hands together and cackling in glee. His amusement heightened as Harry shuffled awkwardly beside him, trying to look only at the floor. “Which one do you think I should get? I mean, we can always try to get something similar to your size—“

“Hello,” a bubbly girl greeted as she walked over to them. “Do you two need help with anything?”

“Sure,” Draco agreed readily. “So, I’m thinking of getting something to keep me company because my boyfriend here is away for work quite a lot.”

“Ah, I know how you feel,” the girl said as she winked. “And it’s better than him looking for satisfaction from someone else, right?” she asked, grinning at Harry.

If someone could die from mortification, Harry probably would be the first one to do so.

“So, which ones do you think will be better?” Draco asked. “Do you think a dildo or a vibrator will be better? Oh, or maybe one of those prostate massagers?”

“Draco,” Harry hissed as he looked at his boyfriend imploringly, desperate to be out of the store.

“Oh, no, you don’t. You’re staying right where you are,” Draco said sternly.

The girl giggled. “That’s so cute. Is he a vanilla kind of guy?”

“He won’t even let me ride him,” Draco said, and Harry wondered again if he had been transported to another alternate universe.

Maybe this was a nightmare. Maybe if he pinched himself hard enough he would wake up and continue to work on the Bradley case.

“Ah,” the girl said, nodding her head sagely. “I think it’s romantic, because of all the stare into your eyes as you make love thing, but it does get a bit… boring?”

Harry was giving him a kicked puppy look, and Draco felt bad for him.

“No, of course I don’t think you’re boring,” Draco said as he squeezed Harry’s arm. “But I am serious about having something to keep me company when you’re away.”

The girl and Draco launched into another discussion about the merits of a vibrating sex toy, and talking about whether it’s better to have something big, or something that pressed on the right spot.

All the while, Harry looked like a deer caught in the headlights, and he didn’t Disapparate only because he knew it was for a mission. And because he didn’t Draco to do this alone, no matter how mortifying an experience it was for him.

“What about you?” the girl asked as he turned to Harry. “Don’t you get lonely when you’re away? We have magical fleshlights, you know. We can mould it after his arse.”

“NothankyouIdon’tneedit!”

Draco burst out laughing, and the girl laughed as well.

“Okay, I’ll try one of those prostate massagers,” Draco said, finally feeling sorry enough for Harry. He feared that if they stayed longer, the blush on his face would stay permanently.

“Okay,” the girl said. She went to the backroom and the two went to the cash register. She checked them out and wished them a good day.

Once they reached home, the Weasley twins, Kingsley, Ron, and Hermione were in the living room, and they all had shit-eating grins on their faces.

“What are you guys doing here?” Harry asked suspiciously, still trying to will the blush away from his face.

“First of all, don’t hate me,” Draco started.

“What--?”

“There was no mission,” Kingsley said. “There was no tip off, and there was no illegal potions business.”

“But—“

“Don’t you remember what date is it today, mate?” Ron asked, laughing.

“It’s—oh, darn it.”

It was April the first. Of course.

They all started laughing.

“Alright, let’s head out to the Pensieve guys, and line up, you guys can review the memory one by one.”

“I hate you all,” Harry said as he pouted, crossing his arms in front of his chest, and already formulating revenges in his head.

“Don’t be angry,” Draco said as he pressed a soft kiss on Harry’s lips. “I was serious when I said I was lonely. You go on solo missions a lot, but I’m not allowed to go by myself. The nights are especially hard.”

“I’m sorry,” Harry said, holding onto Draco’s arm. “I guess if it means that much to you, I can forgive you all for playing this prank on me.”

“Really?” Draco asked.

“Yes, really.”

“Good,” Draco said. “Alright guys, he’s forgiven us all! Now let’s go review the memory!”

The party left with a cheer and Harry groaned, hiding his face in his hands.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are very much appreciated here or at [LiveJournal](http://hd-owlpost.livejournal.com/).


End file.
